Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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