I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
