THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize