I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
