I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
