That's intense
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
