He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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