my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
