I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
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So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
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He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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