When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
