I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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