Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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