well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So vagazzling was a success
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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