yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
