we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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