you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
