I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
