Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
