A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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