I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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