I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
