fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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