best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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