Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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