about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
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Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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