he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
