Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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