why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
