The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
