It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
