I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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