no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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