We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
