just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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