is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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