party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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