walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
