Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
accomplished twins. life is a go
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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