they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
