turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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