I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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