new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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