U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
