Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
