i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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