he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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