I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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