Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
