What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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