he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
