The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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