i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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