Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
