Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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