just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
