i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so let's talk penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
