I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
