no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
bring money and cleavage
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
