all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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