Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
