i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize