Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
All I want is dick and wine.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
