I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Randomize
