when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
NoShamevember. You game?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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