Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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