Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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