If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
