He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
