I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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